My Cross

Matthew 10: 37 - 39
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

This verse just has me thinking about so many things today. It seems like everyone is so consumed with their "rights" and what is "fair" (myself included), and very few are actually willing to "lose" their lives as this verse advises.

It frustrates me sometimes that I can so easily fall into a sense of hopelessness and despair when life takes a turn that I wasn't expecting. As if I have the right to orchestrate what should happen and how things should turn out. Isn't life itself a gift that I should be thankful for? Why do I always assume that I have control over it and would even do a decent job at planning a fruitful and happy outcome?

This is a warning against that very state of mind. My only priority should be taking up my cross and following Him. He takes care of all the rest. Taking up your cross...what does that really mean? To me it means that I need to submit. Submit to whatever it is that God has called me to do. Is this always going to be within my "rights" or will it always qualify as something that is "fair"? I would think not, but God isn't calling me to live a life that I want, full of my own plans and expectations...but to "lose" that life and submit to Him, follow Him, give complete control to Him. What He promises to those who do...that we will find LIFE.

So, as I sit around frustrated and upset about my lot in life...trying to control the things that seem to be "unfair" or outside my expectations...I hope I can remember that my only focus should be to follow Christ. To pick up my cross and through Him find the LIFE that I am so desperate for. Carrying that cross with Him has to be easier than trying to figure this all out on my own.