Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Really?

I've noticed whenever I am "going through" something, I often feel like I am the only one going through it. I have days when I feel like no one could possibly understand, there is no way that I'll ever get through it and I often wonder why I have to.

I'm finding that I'm wrong. There are other people out there having similar experiences to mine. I'm also finding out that I have actually been an encouragement to some of these people. That is totally crazy to me! I feel like I often don't handle the "stuff" in life very well. Just when I'm feeling like I'm totally selfish, impatient, ungodly, ungrateful, unfaithful, confused and weak...I get an email or a letter from someone who says that I am an encouragement to them! That they admire my faithfulness and strength, and that I have handled myself so well through the "things" I happen to have faced in this life.

I think...What? Me? You can't be serious. I was just wondering why on earth God would ever trust me to be able to handle these things. Why would He think that I could remain faithful and be a godly example in the face of earthly trials. My flesh is so battered and weak...you picked the wrong gal this time God.

Thankfully, so far anyway...God has a way of bringing things back into perspective. I'm sharing this to say that this is obviously NOT me, but Him. He brings me back to a place of peace, thankfulness, faithfulness, godliness, strength, and joy. I still cannot fathom why He chooses to use me as an example for others, but I'm so thankful He does.

It doesn't end there...not only have I realized there are people going through the same things I am...but I have found that there are people going through MY "things" WITH ME! I have so many people lifting me up and supporting me. Praying for me and loving me. I am amazed by it really. I couldn't be used by God for anything, without the people He has placed in my life to help me through. Some of these people come and go, they may be there just for a moment, with a word of encouragement at just the right time. I may not even know them! Many of them are dear close friends. There for me at any and all times. All of them are a gift from God, and His way of letting me know that I am doing okay.

So, I do have my moments...but overall I can honestly say that I am thankful for the "things" in this life and I am excited about the opportunity to glorify God through it all (even if I do need LOTS of help to do it).

2 comments:

Kristi Kurtz said...

I am so proud of you and you are an encouragement to me. Your smile when I see you brings me joy on the inside. It was so great to worship and hang with you yesterday. SOOO glad that God is growing our friendship! Love you, praying for you, and here for you at all hours!

Shelly said...

Oh Nance - you have no idea how far your influence is going to reach - BECAUSE of your circumstances! Things that happened to me as a kid are STILL impacting me and people I meet. And He is still shaping me because of them. When God tells us he works "all things for good" He isn't kidding! The really cool thing to me is how He heals up those wounds to where most people don't even know they were there - not because we're hiding them, but because He has actually replaced them with something better (sort of like the ultimate plastic surgery!). What a compliment for people to think you have never experienced this or that. It's purely the grace of God pouring out of you! And then when they find out what God has allowed in your life, and the testimony you have because of it...it is only further evidence of His unbelievable love. I have loved watching you grow over the last 10 years. God is doing great things through you my friend!