Catching up...

I love to share my thoughts, and when I started blogging several years ago it just came so easily. I never saw myself as someone who would have to "make time" for something that came so naturally to me. But as many of you could've told me long in advance...things change, life happens, and even during some of the very best times of life, we just find that some things become more difficult and we have less time.

I think part of the reason I have not written in such a long time is because the longer it goes, the more I feel like I have to catch up on and the more I realize I probably can't do that. Right or wrong it feels like a failure to me...if I can't do this and do it well, then maybe I shouldn't do it at all. Looking back over my last few entries, I feel like it wouldn't be right to "quit" at this juncture. I think I just have to develop a new understanding with myself and let this be what it can be and find the enjoyment of it again.

Anyone who would take the time to read this has probably kept pretty updated via facebook...I guess it became an easier way to get little snip its of what was happening out there without getting into the nitty gritty of it all. But after sharing so openly about my miscarriage on the blog last year, I realized that I never returned to the blog to share the good news...most of you already know, but almost exactly 6 months after the day I miscarried, I found out I was pregnant again!

I wish I could say I was elated, but I have to tell you that from the moment I found out I felt an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety. Every day worry would overcome me and I was sick with it. I was convinced that something was going to happen to this baby and I was a mess. I wrote a little bit about it in the "baby blog" that I started, and I don't want this to get too long...but what you do need to know is that little by little, day by day, I started giving these worries, fears, and anxieties back to the Lord. I knew I couldn't continue to live in fear and worry and I was desperately clinging to God to show me the peace that He promises. And he DID!

I can hardly believe it myself, but I actually started to function without worry or fear. I can't say that I was free from it every moment, but for probably one of the few times I can remember in my life (at least while facing a difficult situation), I was not letting it consume me. I felt like I was actually taking every thought captive and giving it over to God. I learned verses about peace and repeated His promises to myself again and again. It was really a wonderful experience for me, and I grew so much during this pregnancy.

I'm happy to say that the pregnancy has gone well, 34 weeks and counting. I'm excited about what God is doing in our lives, and the blessings He is giving us. Facing life soon with 2 children (particularly one toddler) does tempt me to let the worry creep back in, but hopefully I can remember the lessons I've learned and trust God to be all I need and all my family needs to live happily and abundantly.

Since part of me still can't let go of having to include the things I've missed....here's a little recap of the highlights of 2009:

Leading a table at MOPS for the winter 2009 session. I LOVE these women and we have developed great friendship that still exist and are growing today. :)

Playing softball with several friends from Northridge...first time back to an organized sport in years!! It was SO much fun.

Our family going to Disney World with my Brother and Sister-in-law. Isaac loved every minute of it and he loves spending time with Uncle Jon and Aunt Amber...we love them too!!

After Disney, heading over to SC to see my closest friend Jamie and her family. We really cherish every moment we get to spend with them!

Scrapbook weekend with the girls! I actually did one in January and one in June and both of them were so fun! I just love getting away, having girl time, sharing great food and getting things done!! (in my scrapbook).

Being blessed with another pregnancy in July, and being blessed by God's presence as He used this to help me grow closer to Him.

After encouragement from family and friends, taking steps toward starting my own photography "business". Things have been going really well and for the first time in a long time, I am doing something "vocationally" that I honestly enjoy! Thank you to everyone who has and is still supporting me through this!

Going to MOPS convention in Nashville, TN. It was such a blessing and I was encouraged in every way...as a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and friend. I am so thankful for the experience and thankful for those relationships that were started and strengthened there.

Starting MOPS Fall 2009 as a Table Leader Coordinator. I love serving in this role and I'm thankful for the opportunities and friendships it has blessed me with.

Glory of Christmas 2009. This is something I look forward to every year. While I enjoy serving in the choir and praise team all year round, there is just something so very special about this time together. This year was no different (although being 6 months pregnant, it did have its challenges)...and the blessings that come from this are too many to even mention.

So that about sums things up. We have had a rather uneventful (which is actually a good thing) start to 2010 and already some great things appear to be in store for our family. My goal is to try and share my heart with you more regularly regarding these things...I'm trying to keep this blog about my thoughts in general...for update on the boys you can catch up on my other blogs (see right side column for links). :)

Thanks for listening...until next time....hopefully sooner than later.