Hard Times

I have had my share of difficult times. I know we all have. I don't really consider myself to be any different than anyone else on those terms. I have a history of getting through the tough times pretty well, I guess it is something I have picked up from my family along the way.

So hard times come and they go...I learn and I grow. I take a deep breath and find myself letting out a huge sigh of relief when the time passes. Somewhere in the back of my mind I conclude that "I finally got through this, I survived, things will be okay"...and they are...but only for that particular situation.

This is probably going to sound a lot worse than I really feel about life in general, but sometimes it's like I'm just sitting around waiting for the next problem. I guess I get this false sense of security from getting through a difficult time, like I've paid my dues...I'm somehow exempt from any more trouble. Of course I know that is not how it is...I guess that's the point...one difficult time prepares us and equips us to better handle the next. I know that...but I want it to come easier. I feel like I should be able to dive right into the next difficulty with this armor from my last experience that lets me just breeze right through it. Like I should think nothing of it, it shouldn't bother me, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about how bad I think the whole thing stinks.

I know I put that pressure on myself. No one expects that from me, least of all God. I just wish it wasn't such a surprise when trouble hits again...I wish the things I've learned from previous experiences came back to me faster and easier...I wish the pain I endured in one situation could save me from (or at least dull) the pain of the next. If we all had a magic wand...right?

I'm not holding on to this problem...I'm putting it in His hands. I hate it, and I wish I didn't have to go through it, but I'm not letting it overcome me. My previous experiences have taught me this if nothing else...God will get me through the current situation...just like all the others...and He's the only one that can...if that is the only thing I know right now...I guess that is enough.