Everyone dreams of being able to do something they love. I have been so blessed to be able to leave the working world behind and stay at home with our son. I'm so thankful that Mike works so hard for us and has trusted God to meet our needs while we sacrifice to allow me to be with Isaac. Although mothering has turned out to be more of a full time "job" than I ever could have dreamed...I absolutely love it!
I have never regretted our decision, and I don't miss working...but at times it can be easy to lose a little bit of your "self" when you are with a toddler all day, every day! Don't get me wrong, I do get plenty of opportunities to make time for myself (another thing my wonderful hubby had been so gracious about helping me do and I am SO thankful to him for). I have also tried my share of small business opportunities hoping to get that little bit of extra spending money...but none of them really took off for me, and I was okay with that...they were mostly things that helped me support my own hobbies and interests. :)
One such hobby started to make it's way out into the lime light. As I was taking time to work on something I have always loved to do, people began to take notice...something that never occurred to me. I love to take pictures and really began working on improving my skills in this area. I had really only intended to do this for my own benefit, to improve the pictures I was taking of Isaac and our family outings...but before I knew it people were asking me to take pictures for them! The more I do, the more people ask me, and the more I LOVE doing it. So many people have encouraged me to allow this hobby to become a little more, and I have decided to go ahead and try my hand at a small photography business. For now it will be called Nancy Gregg Photography (clever huh?) and I am going to use this blog to post pics that people can view. http://nancygreggphotography.blogspot.com (coming soon).
So I appreciate all your prayers and encouragement. I don't want this to become just another "job", but really an extension of something I love to do and am so blessed to have to opportunity to share with others.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Faithful
Do you notice how different "themes" tend to confront you in your life from time to time. I find myself going about my life and as I'm confronted by different circumstances, people, studies, messages etc...my thoughts for a season of time are continually brought back to a particular topic. Lately, I feel like this topic has been glorifying God. I'm afraid my summary of these thoughts may be significantly lacking, and I'm not even sure this is the correct title...but I felt that I should share this journey of understanding with you...mostly in an attempt to reel in the scattered bits and pieces and hopefully obtain a bit more understanding for myself.
My mind has been tossing around the question, "who am I or who do I want to be?" Several circumstances I have faced recently have really challenged this issue for me. Messages, studies, and conversations seem to be reinforcing the ideas and keeping the thoughts active. Every area of my life is forcing me to come back and focus on this topic. I know it is not a coincidence. God is doing something.
I recently read about Peter and his denial of Christ. What stood out to me this time when Christ reveals to Peter what is about to happen, is that His words tell us that Satan was trying his best to separate all of them (Christ's disciples) from Christ. The NIV says "Satan has asked to sift you as wheat". And he goes on to say that HE prayed for Peter! He prayed that Peter would not give in and would remain faithful to Him. The issue in Peters life was denial. The author of the study goes on to point out that the real issue was Peters inability to deny himself, which led him to deny Jesus Christ.
I just picture Christ having these same conversations with Satan about me. It is so easy to focus on our circumstance and be so wrapped up in the difficulty of it all that we miss the bigger picture. As most do I'm sure, I have great difficulty denying myself...particularly in the midst of trials. Suppose Satan has confronted Christ about this issue in my life and Christ has prayed for ME to not give in and to remain faithful. That thought right there has been so overwhelming to me in the past few months. I have come to believe that some difficult circumstances are allowed into our lives to teach us and to help us develop the qualities we need to be the person God has intended for us to be. But in addition, sometimes these difficulties are allowed into our lives to prove us faithful. Satan is trying to separate us from Christ! Christ knew that Peter would fail in the moment, but He also knew that Peter would NOT fail in the mission. I want Christ to know that about me! That is the person I want to be.
I tend to view my difficult circumstances as times to be endured or "survived", but that is really not the point. Not only do I want to be a person that can deny myself and remain faithful to God, I want to handle my circumstances (good and bad) in ways that bring glory to Him. I want to fight against Satan's attempt to separate me from Christ! Oh how I want to prove Satan wrong. When he thinks that he can hit me with something that will finally do me in, I just want to come back at him with a reaction that makes him sorry he even tried. Not only do I want everyone to see God glorified, but I want them to know that Satan tried and he failed...again. I want them to know that he is trying to separate them from God too, but (in the words of Beth Moore) Christ will not grant Satan permission to do anything that can't be used for God's glory and our good...if we will let it! Satan doesn't have to win in your life...Glorify God and be faithful! I want to make God so proud and so happy that he trusted me and gave me to opportunity to remain faithful. I will probably fail, just like Peter, in the moment (or two)...but I want to succeed in the mission.
I pray that God continues to confront me with this, and as my nature finds me fearing or refusing to deny myself...I pray that God reminds me that out of His love He sacrificed more than I could even imagine...and that Christ will ultimately find me faithful.
My mind has been tossing around the question, "who am I or who do I want to be?" Several circumstances I have faced recently have really challenged this issue for me. Messages, studies, and conversations seem to be reinforcing the ideas and keeping the thoughts active. Every area of my life is forcing me to come back and focus on this topic. I know it is not a coincidence. God is doing something.
I recently read about Peter and his denial of Christ. What stood out to me this time when Christ reveals to Peter what is about to happen, is that His words tell us that Satan was trying his best to separate all of them (Christ's disciples) from Christ. The NIV says "Satan has asked to sift you as wheat". And he goes on to say that HE prayed for Peter! He prayed that Peter would not give in and would remain faithful to Him. The issue in Peters life was denial. The author of the study goes on to point out that the real issue was Peters inability to deny himself, which led him to deny Jesus Christ.
I just picture Christ having these same conversations with Satan about me. It is so easy to focus on our circumstance and be so wrapped up in the difficulty of it all that we miss the bigger picture. As most do I'm sure, I have great difficulty denying myself...particularly in the midst of trials. Suppose Satan has confronted Christ about this issue in my life and Christ has prayed for ME to not give in and to remain faithful. That thought right there has been so overwhelming to me in the past few months. I have come to believe that some difficult circumstances are allowed into our lives to teach us and to help us develop the qualities we need to be the person God has intended for us to be. But in addition, sometimes these difficulties are allowed into our lives to prove us faithful. Satan is trying to separate us from Christ! Christ knew that Peter would fail in the moment, but He also knew that Peter would NOT fail in the mission. I want Christ to know that about me! That is the person I want to be.
I tend to view my difficult circumstances as times to be endured or "survived", but that is really not the point. Not only do I want to be a person that can deny myself and remain faithful to God, I want to handle my circumstances (good and bad) in ways that bring glory to Him. I want to fight against Satan's attempt to separate me from Christ! Oh how I want to prove Satan wrong. When he thinks that he can hit me with something that will finally do me in, I just want to come back at him with a reaction that makes him sorry he even tried. Not only do I want everyone to see God glorified, but I want them to know that Satan tried and he failed...again. I want them to know that he is trying to separate them from God too, but (in the words of Beth Moore) Christ will not grant Satan permission to do anything that can't be used for God's glory and our good...if we will let it! Satan doesn't have to win in your life...Glorify God and be faithful! I want to make God so proud and so happy that he trusted me and gave me to opportunity to remain faithful. I will probably fail, just like Peter, in the moment (or two)...but I want to succeed in the mission.
I pray that God continues to confront me with this, and as my nature finds me fearing or refusing to deny myself...I pray that God reminds me that out of His love He sacrificed more than I could even imagine...and that Christ will ultimately find me faithful.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What's going on...
So, I know there are a lot of people wondering what has been going on with me lately. I have been through a difficult time and while I wasn't ready to share what was happening, I knew that I desperately needed prayers...from anyone who would pray...to help get me through.
Looking back on it all, it seems a bit over dramatic. My difficult time was no different from any of the other trials that are facing so many people we all know...in fact, it may pale in comparison to many...but it was mine...and to me, it was heartbreaking.
I found out in early January that we were expecting again! We were both really happy...however I have to be honest and say that we were also a bit shocked. Many of you know that it took us 2 years to get pregnant the first time, so when we agreed in December to open our lives up to the possibility of a second child...you can imagine what a surprise it was to see a positive pregnancy test in January!! After the shock wore off a bit...I began to realize how happy I was that I didn't have to go through the struggle of infertility a second time. While we had the normal hesitations of "can we really handle two"...and "what is going on with the economy and our finances...can we afford two"...there was such a relief knowing that God had spared us from the countless months of failed attempts and disappointments.
Don't get me wrong...I learned SO much through our struggle to conceive...primarily, that I am not in any way in control of this! And I remembered that lesson...we talked and prayed about adding to our family and I knew that this time...just like the last...HE would decide if another child was in His will for us and HE would decide when. I just have to be honest...I was SO glad He decided not to wait this time.
Which made what happened 6 weeks into the pregnancy that much more of a blow. I will spare you from the long drawn out details...but at 6 weeks I found out I was having a miscarriage. At that moment, in the tunnel vision of despair and over active hormones...I could not see outside of myself. This was the worst possible thing I could be experiencing and I couldn't see any purpose for it. I was mad. I had already learned my lessons and I couldn't see why God would possibly be trying to teach me even more. This time I went into this with all the "right" angles...I trusted Him first, I gave Him control from the beginning, I was willing to wait for His timing...and THIS is what He decides to do with that? How does that make any sense. If this wasn't the right time...why give it to me and then take it away?
I won't say that I suddenly began to understand or that it all began to make sense...because quite honestly...there is still so much that I don't understand. However, after some tears and a little time...I began to see that He was not doing this to me, but He was going through it with me. Yes, He knows the things that will come in and out of our lives and I believe He could have spared me from it...I believe He can do anything...but I also have come to realize that He uses things in our lives, even things we may never understand...for a bigger purpose...to draw others to Him and to bring glory to His name. For whatever reason, my experience serves to bring Him more glory than if He had allowed this pregnancy to continue...if I will let it.
That's when I realized I don't really have to know why this happened...I just want to do right by Him. I don't want to forget that I DID trust Him and give Him complete control before going into this...so I can know without a doubt that He has a plan for it all. I don't like the plan...I already told Him that (ha ha!)...but I don't want to say that I trust Him and give Him control and then back out of that the moment things don't go my way. When I said it...I meant it...and I'm going to stick by it. My battle is against the enemy and I don't intend to let him win by letting this consume me and make me bitter against God. Instead I plan to be on God's side and defeat Satan by remaining as faithful as I possibly can and allowing Him to have to victory over all of this. I have always prayed that I would be able to handle my trials this way. Thank you God for answering my prayer and for being everything I need to be that person.
So thank you to all of you who prayed, even though you may not have known what was going on. You helped God get everything in perspective for me...and helped Him remind me of the promises I made to Him...but more importantly...of the promises He's made to me. Please continue to pray as we trust Him to bless our family as He sees fit and as we give Him control to take us to that point in whatever way He sees fit. Pray that we will remember HE does not change, so we can stay faithful to Him no matter what we may need to endure.
Looking back on it all, it seems a bit over dramatic. My difficult time was no different from any of the other trials that are facing so many people we all know...in fact, it may pale in comparison to many...but it was mine...and to me, it was heartbreaking.
I found out in early January that we were expecting again! We were both really happy...however I have to be honest and say that we were also a bit shocked. Many of you know that it took us 2 years to get pregnant the first time, so when we agreed in December to open our lives up to the possibility of a second child...you can imagine what a surprise it was to see a positive pregnancy test in January!! After the shock wore off a bit...I began to realize how happy I was that I didn't have to go through the struggle of infertility a second time. While we had the normal hesitations of "can we really handle two"...and "what is going on with the economy and our finances...can we afford two"...there was such a relief knowing that God had spared us from the countless months of failed attempts and disappointments.
Don't get me wrong...I learned SO much through our struggle to conceive...primarily, that I am not in any way in control of this! And I remembered that lesson...we talked and prayed about adding to our family and I knew that this time...just like the last...HE would decide if another child was in His will for us and HE would decide when. I just have to be honest...I was SO glad He decided not to wait this time.
Which made what happened 6 weeks into the pregnancy that much more of a blow. I will spare you from the long drawn out details...but at 6 weeks I found out I was having a miscarriage. At that moment, in the tunnel vision of despair and over active hormones...I could not see outside of myself. This was the worst possible thing I could be experiencing and I couldn't see any purpose for it. I was mad. I had already learned my lessons and I couldn't see why God would possibly be trying to teach me even more. This time I went into this with all the "right" angles...I trusted Him first, I gave Him control from the beginning, I was willing to wait for His timing...and THIS is what He decides to do with that? How does that make any sense. If this wasn't the right time...why give it to me and then take it away?
I won't say that I suddenly began to understand or that it all began to make sense...because quite honestly...there is still so much that I don't understand. However, after some tears and a little time...I began to see that He was not doing this to me, but He was going through it with me. Yes, He knows the things that will come in and out of our lives and I believe He could have spared me from it...I believe He can do anything...but I also have come to realize that He uses things in our lives, even things we may never understand...for a bigger purpose...to draw others to Him and to bring glory to His name. For whatever reason, my experience serves to bring Him more glory than if He had allowed this pregnancy to continue...if I will let it.
That's when I realized I don't really have to know why this happened...I just want to do right by Him. I don't want to forget that I DID trust Him and give Him complete control before going into this...so I can know without a doubt that He has a plan for it all. I don't like the plan...I already told Him that (ha ha!)...but I don't want to say that I trust Him and give Him control and then back out of that the moment things don't go my way. When I said it...I meant it...and I'm going to stick by it. My battle is against the enemy and I don't intend to let him win by letting this consume me and make me bitter against God. Instead I plan to be on God's side and defeat Satan by remaining as faithful as I possibly can and allowing Him to have to victory over all of this. I have always prayed that I would be able to handle my trials this way. Thank you God for answering my prayer and for being everything I need to be that person.
So thank you to all of you who prayed, even though you may not have known what was going on. You helped God get everything in perspective for me...and helped Him remind me of the promises I made to Him...but more importantly...of the promises He's made to me. Please continue to pray as we trust Him to bless our family as He sees fit and as we give Him control to take us to that point in whatever way He sees fit. Pray that we will remember HE does not change, so we can stay faithful to Him no matter what we may need to endure.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Hard Times
I have had my share of difficult times. I know we all have. I don't really consider myself to be any different than anyone else on those terms. I have a history of getting through the tough times pretty well, I guess it is something I have picked up from my family along the way.
So hard times come and they go...I learn and I grow. I take a deep breath and find myself letting out a huge sigh of relief when the time passes. Somewhere in the back of my mind I conclude that "I finally got through this, I survived, things will be okay"...and they are...but only for that particular situation.
This is probably going to sound a lot worse than I really feel about life in general, but sometimes it's like I'm just sitting around waiting for the next problem. I guess I get this false sense of security from getting through a difficult time, like I've paid my dues...I'm somehow exempt from any more trouble. Of course I know that is not how it is...I guess that's the point...one difficult time prepares us and equips us to better handle the next. I know that...but I want it to come easier. I feel like I should be able to dive right into the next difficulty with this armor from my last experience that lets me just breeze right through it. Like I should think nothing of it, it shouldn't bother me, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about how bad I think the whole thing stinks.
I know I put that pressure on myself. No one expects that from me, least of all God. I just wish it wasn't such a surprise when trouble hits again...I wish the things I've learned from previous experiences came back to me faster and easier...I wish the pain I endured in one situation could save me from (or at least dull) the pain of the next. If we all had a magic wand...right?
I'm not holding on to this problem...I'm putting it in His hands. I hate it, and I wish I didn't have to go through it, but I'm not letting it overcome me. My previous experiences have taught me this if nothing else...God will get me through the current situation...just like all the others...and He's the only one that can...if that is the only thing I know right now...I guess that is enough.
So hard times come and they go...I learn and I grow. I take a deep breath and find myself letting out a huge sigh of relief when the time passes. Somewhere in the back of my mind I conclude that "I finally got through this, I survived, things will be okay"...and they are...but only for that particular situation.
This is probably going to sound a lot worse than I really feel about life in general, but sometimes it's like I'm just sitting around waiting for the next problem. I guess I get this false sense of security from getting through a difficult time, like I've paid my dues...I'm somehow exempt from any more trouble. Of course I know that is not how it is...I guess that's the point...one difficult time prepares us and equips us to better handle the next. I know that...but I want it to come easier. I feel like I should be able to dive right into the next difficulty with this armor from my last experience that lets me just breeze right through it. Like I should think nothing of it, it shouldn't bother me, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about how bad I think the whole thing stinks.
I know I put that pressure on myself. No one expects that from me, least of all God. I just wish it wasn't such a surprise when trouble hits again...I wish the things I've learned from previous experiences came back to me faster and easier...I wish the pain I endured in one situation could save me from (or at least dull) the pain of the next. If we all had a magic wand...right?
I'm not holding on to this problem...I'm putting it in His hands. I hate it, and I wish I didn't have to go through it, but I'm not letting it overcome me. My previous experiences have taught me this if nothing else...God will get me through the current situation...just like all the others...and He's the only one that can...if that is the only thing I know right now...I guess that is enough.
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